Middle-Aged Stay-at-Home Women with E-Mail are Dangerous
I'm constantly inundated with bad e-mail forwards. One of the most nefarious are the various forms of test answers that are from "real children's tests". That is such bullshit. These are lame Family Circus punchlines some bored housewife with a limited knowledge of e-mail and a fibber's spirit concocted to feel witty. Yet people obviously believe this garbage or why else would I keep getting it?
The latest wit and wisdom of the middle-aged stay-at-home wife pretending to be a class of children is boasted as "Children's Science ExamAnswers . These are real answers given by children ." (that's the real punctuation. I had no idea there was supposed to be a space before a period. Geeeez...) Hilights include:
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon . All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum . I forget where the sun joins in this fight .
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire .
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome
Now, let's analyze, shall we?
Where the fuck is this school where kids are getting asked about steroids on a science test? Not any I've ever heard of.
Kids do NOT use sayings like "tends to flow" or "nature hates a vacuum". What the fuck kid have you ever met that even knew there was a definition of vacuum outside of the kind that picks crap up off carpets?
If a kid were to say that they'd say sweat. What the fuck kid says, or knows the word, 'perspire'?!
And lastly... again... what the fuck school puts questions about caesarean sections on a test? And what "real life child" would know anything about districts in Rome?!
So there you have it. I've debunked the whole thing. Now will people stop sending me lying SHIT like this, please?!!
Classified under: editorial
The latest wit and wisdom of the middle-aged stay-at-home wife pretending to be a class of children is boasted as "Children's Science ExamAnswers . These are real answers given by children ." (that's the real punctuation. I had no idea there was supposed to be a space before a period. Geeeez...) Hilights include:
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon . All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum . I forget where the sun joins in this fight .
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire .
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome
Now, let's analyze, shall we?
Where the fuck is this school where kids are getting asked about steroids on a science test? Not any I've ever heard of.
Kids do NOT use sayings like "tends to flow" or "nature hates a vacuum". What the fuck kid have you ever met that even knew there was a definition of vacuum outside of the kind that picks crap up off carpets?
If a kid were to say that they'd say sweat. What the fuck kid says, or knows the word, 'perspire'?!
And lastly... again... what the fuck school puts questions about caesarean sections on a test? And what "real life child" would know anything about districts in Rome?!
So there you have it. I've debunked the whole thing. Now will people stop sending me lying SHIT like this, please?!!
Classified under: editorial
posted by Mike at
4:59 PM
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